Day #140

As you may remember (or as you may read if you look back one entry), the last time I wrote I had just accepted two jobs...one full-time (not graphic design) and one part-time (graphic design).

After working both jobs for the past few months, I am happy to announce that the part-time graphic design job officially became my full-time job, and today was the first day. The original full-time job is no longer employing me as I handed in my two weeks notice just over two weeks ago.

I have learned a lot during my stay at the non-design job, aside from the obvious of learning about the company and how to do the job I was hired for. One thing I learned is what it means to work someplace you know you aren't meant to be working at. I'm a graphic designer, and I have found that I become rather unhappy when working in a call center. Don't think I didn't appreciate having a job, or that the job was the worst thing ever...it was actually a rather easy job with good benefits, and the people I worked with were very awesome and nice. However, it wasn't graphic design and there was no creativity whatsoever, so I was never "satisfied".

I also learned that I am NOT cut out for customer service. I can handle the majority of the customers well enough, but it only took one exceptionally angry person to leave me crying at my desk. Embarrassing, stressful, and it happened more than once. For the love of cheese, people, don't take your frustrations out over the phone. Chances are, you're yelling at the wrong person and possibly ruining their day. Also, being yelled at just once gave me a case of anxiety before going in to work for a good week or two afterwards...and let me tell you, that much stress before a 10 hour day of work is not fun.

Regardless, I am no longer working there. As thankful I was to get that job, I am just as thankful to leave after discovering it wasn't really the job for me. I apologize to everyone who has had to deal with my complaining, stress, and tears. Believe me when I tell you, I had no idea it would be like that...however, I am completely thankful to the people who helped me get the job. I'd be living in a cardboard box behind the dumpster if I hadn't gotten the job, and while I didn't much enjoy my time there, I appreciate what was done to get me there and what I learned as well.

I am now looking forward to making everything I can of the new job. It's technically freelance, but it's full-time. I work for a person, not a corporation, and I like what I'm doing. It's relaxed, fun, and full of opportunities. This job also looks like it's going to last longer than a few months.

So now, on day one hundred and forty of The Unemployed Graphic Designer blog, I am a re-employed graphic designer. I do believe that brings an official end to this blog...

A few last words before I bring this to a close...

• Don't let unemployment defeat you. Keep busy, keep happy, and keep looking!
• Don't be afraid to take the unglamorous non-graphic design (or whatever your specialty is) job. Do what you have to, you can return to what you love when the economy gets back on it's feet.
• Don't give up!

I think that just about wraps it up. I hope things turn around for everyone sooner rather than later...until then, goodbye and good luck!

Day #43

let's start with this:

Jobs applied to: 21
Responses: 7
Interviews: 5
Jobs offered: 2

yep, two jobs offered...and i accepted both! on top of the part-time freelance position that i mentioned last entry, i also got the customer service position. it's full-time seasonal, and it pays decently. there are even optional benefits. ironically, the first day is on my birthday. i've also been offered another part-time freelancing position, but i'm turning that down because i just don't have the time. another of my previous jobs called today to offer me some work as well, but again...no time. kinda strange considering that for about a month, i had no luck finding any work. all of a sudden, i'm slammed! regardless, it's nice to have money coming in again.

the part-time gig seems like it's going to work out quite nicely. the guy is looking to hire full-time eventually, so i have that to look forward to. in the meantime, working two jobs will allow me to catch up on all my bills in record time. still waiting on payment from a previous freelance job and my tax return...those two items should set me ahead nicely as well.

as of March 30th, i will have a full-time job. that will be day #49 of The Unemployed Graphic Designer blog. considering how that makes me technically employed, i suppose this blog is coming to it's end...of course, i'm not exactly doing full-time design at the moment, so i suppose the blog will be on more of a hiatus. i will update if and when any job news comes through (full-time design, etc).

to all the other unemployed souls out there, don't give up! keep looking! i know it seems hopeless sometimes, but somewhere out there is a job for you. it may not be exactly what you want to do, but there will be time to pursue your interests when the jobs come back. good luck and goodbye (for now)!

Day #36

i didn't update for a while again...i know...but i have a REALLY good excuse this time!

i've been absolutely buried in freelance and interviews! that's a legitimate excuse for not updating my unemployment blog, right? oh, and check this out:

Jobs applied to: 21
Responses: 6
Interviews: 4
Jobs offered: 1

yeah, i was offered a job! now, before anyone gets all excited, it's a part time freelance gig. it's not full-time, i don't get benefits, and there is no guarantee it'll last. so, i'm technically still unemployed. however, i'll be working for this place all day tomorrow, and hopefully that will be a good thing...i need to get to know the guy i'm doing the work for, and then find out if i can continue to work for him.

i've also picked up freelance work from my last job...i've been working on that the past couple of days. my boss there said that he needs me back, but due to a retarded policy of the parent company, no one who has been laid off can be rehired. he's going to talk with HIS boss about that though, so we'll see what happens there.

had a phone interview today with a place hiring for customer service. it's not graphic design, but it is full-time...although it's only seasonal. certainly better than nothing! scored a "real" interview on Thursday, so i apparently did well on the phone interview today. if i can get this job, PLUS work up the freelance stuff, i could be doing quite well financially very soon. of course, by "quite well" i mean i can pay my bills and not have a panic attack when i look at my savings account.

regardless, things are looking up. i'm happier and more hopeful. can't wait for things to go back to normal...and STAY that way!

Day #29

yet again, i've slacked on the updates.

it's now been a month since i was laid off. my insurance is gone. i'm still unemployed.

Jobs applied to: 21
Responses: 4
Interviews: 2
Jobs offered: 0

as you can see, i have now been on 2 interviews...that second one was today. it was for a fashion design position at a hat company. i know i'm not a fashion designer, and i don't know diddly squat about hats (aside from the fact that they go on your head), but the man i spoke to said that mostly graphic designers were applying and that was ok. so i went for it. the interview went quite well, and lasted a long time. my only problem is that the job will most likely demand things from me that i'm not currently comfortable with. i am a soft spoken girl, but the job would require me to push products and be a salesperson, as well as do presentations for large groups. these things scare the bejeezus out of me. i'm not sure if the guy could tell that from the interview, but i suppose we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

applied to a bunch more jobs today. most of them were sent to me by a friend of mine, since she was home sick (and apparently bored, haha). we'll see if anything new pops up.

finished redoing my portfolio site. it really needed a facelift, so that was good to get out of the way. i also decided to start paying for hosting so there will be no more stupid ads at the top of my site.

i've been keeping a check list of things i can do to keep busy. it was pretty long when i first made it, and now it's been whittled down pretty far. i need to make sure i always have something to do...even if i lose motivation and don't want to work on anything, at least there is something to go to when the motivation comes back. boredom will most certainly lead to feeling depressed, and we don't want that.

i've also been breaking my own rule about waking up at a decent time. shame on me, i know. had to wake up early today for the interview, but yesterday i didn't wake up til about noon. granted, we just had DST kick the clock forward an hour...but still.

i need nicer weather. i want to go outside and be distracted, but it's either rainy or cold out there.

i guess that's it for now. i'm out of things to talk about. i doubt i'll have anything interesting to talk about until i get a job.

Day #23

I've skipped quite a few days this time. Sorry.

Nothing happened Friday...nothing job-related, anyhow. I made the day a social day and drove to a friend's house for the afternoon.

Monday was not a good day for me. I had decided to work on my portfolio website, since it's something that needs to be done. After a few hours of tinkering with that, I received an email from a friend I had contacted about a possible job. She replied that the one open position had been filled, but she'd look around and see if any other locations were hiring. Granted, it wasn't a graphic design job...but I'd gotten my hopes up for actually being employed with a decent wage, nice insurance, and something to fill my long days. Apparently, this was the straw that broke the camel's back, because I spent the rest of the afternoon crying. Then evening came, and I pretty much had a panic attack on the phone with my boyfriend. Poor guy...didn't even have any warning. Within seconds of me picking up his call, I was hyperventilating, crying, and just freaking out in general. He managed to calm me down after a couple hours of chatting, and I spent a few more hours staying up with a self-induced migraine and stomach ache.

Stress is so much fun.

Tuesday, I treated myself to some coffee and yogurt at the local coffee place since I knew I needed out of my apartment. Stayed there for about an hour, then came home and got to work. Finished up some logo comps for a freelancing project, and I worked on my site a little more. Then the amazing boyfriend came by to deliver an application, feed me pizza, and keep me company with a movie. (Tired of hearing about the boyfriend yet? Too bad. He's a big part of why I'm still sane.) No panic attacks, so Tuesday was a pretty good day.

That brings us to today...Wednesday. Another good day, even though I still don't have a job. Received an email from a former employer saying that they had been contacted by one of the places I'd applied to. I will be calling or emailing the place tomorrow to see if I can land an interview. The application I filled out from my boyfriend was hand-delivered by his manager to HR, so that's cool. Almost finished my website today, which was a triumph considering I had to teach myself how to use a javascript that would allow me to stylishly show off my work. Now I just have to finish getting the images of my work ready.

I haven't run out of things to work on yet, but sometimes I find I really don't want to do anything. It's very frustrating trying to keep myself motivated every day. I'm realizing that I could probably never work solely from home...I've never had a problem getting my work done at an actual job, but when I'm the only person around to tell me what to do, well, I just don't want to listen to myself.

Keep your fingers crossed that I will score an interview in the next couple days!

Day #17

I have skipped yet another day of writing here...but I have an excuse this time!

Basically, nothing job-related happened yesterday.

I went to the dentist, had my teeth cleaned, had 2 cavities taken care of, and went home with half a numb face. Walked to the post office and mailed a ton of tax stuff out. Decided I'd done enough that day and watched hulu til I was tired.

Today, however, was a little more productive job-wise.

I contacted my visual insurance carrier, got the information needed to submit the claim, walked to the print place down the road to get a copy of my receipt, stuck everything in an envelope, walked to the post office, and mailed it. Had some coffee, came home, and received an email from one of the places I'd applied to (yes!), and responded. Every time I got another email, I jumped up and was quickly disappointed...they have not responded to my response. Hopefully I'll hear from them soon.

Made plans to hang out with a friend tomorrow, so that's good. Also watched Religulous today, and absolutely loved it. Worked on freelance a little more...I really need to get on my freelance stuff a bit. Every time I think I'll work on it, I suddenly don't feel like it. I need to get over that and stop complaining about feeling unmotivated. One thing I learned in college is that no matter how unmotivated you feel about working on a project, once you start working on it, you get on a roll and you're fine.

Also figure I should start adding this bit of info in:
Jobs applied to: 14
Responses: 3
Interviews: 1
Jobs offered: 0

I guess when "Jobs offered" becomes any number besides "0," this blog will effectively end...since I'd no longer be unemployed and such. I may not be a graphic designer though...hmmm....

That's about it for today. I'm going to push myself to work on another freelance project for a bit, and then call it a night.

Day #15

I did not write on Friday or Monday. I'm a horrible person, I know. You poor people that have been reading this are just dying to know what happened to those days!

Well, not a whole lot honestly.

I don't even remember what I did on Friday, so that tells you how exciting that day was. I believe I did some quick job searching, came up fruitless, worked on a little freelance, and then ran off to spend the weekend at the boyfriend's.

Monday was my dentist appointment. I only have two cavities: my old one that has a filling has apparently continued to decay, and there is one small new one. I'll be getting those both taken care of tomorrow (Wednesday). Not too bad, considering I haven't been to the dentist in over 5 years. I also researched a company a friend pointed me toward, and fixed up my cover letter and resume to send out to them. Towards the evening, I lost all motivation and ended up watching TV online. A friend called, and I ended up chatting with her for a bit.

Today, I mailed out bills and tax stuff, as well as the aforementioned cover letter and resume. I did another job search and applied to one place. Kind of sad that I only found one new place to send my information to...

Took some time to chill out and listen to music, ate some dinner, and then sat down to work on some more freelance stuff. That brings us to now, with me typing up this new blog post.

I think I've realized another reason why being unemployed is so god damned depressing for me. I rarely talk to ANYONE throughout my day. Today, I said maybe 10 words to the ladies who handle my parking fees, had a short conversation with my mother, and I chatted with the boyfriend for a half hour. Yesterday, I talked to the dentist, two friends, and my boyfriend. Most days, the only person I speak to all day is the boyfriend for a little in the evening. Sometimes I'll chat online with someone, but usually not, as I'm trying to not get distracted from things I'm supposed to be doing. Weekends are like a party for me, since I get to interact with more than a couple people for a few days.

I really need a job. Aside from the fact that I need the money to pay bills, I need the interaction to stay sane!

Day #10

Today was definitely one of my better days.

Woke up to an email from the boyfriend about an ad for a graphic designer his mom found in the paper. Went ahead and emailed my resume in. Fingers crossed! It's an actual graphic design job.

Got ready and ran out the door to get to my optometrist appointment, calling the HR lady from my old job as I drove...Apparently, I come up as being under Davis Vision for my insurance, and wonderful Davis Vision does not cover materials (frames and lenses), just the exam. However, the paper work I had received on my first day at my job said that I was covered for everything...so I knew I needed to call and get this all straightened out. The HR lady didn't get back to me til after the exam, but it turns out I'm not under Davis...I'm under Spectera, and they cover everything. So now I just need to call them, explain the situation, and mail in the claim.

The good news is (or awesome news, really) I have new glasses! I was expecting them to have to send them out and wait for a week or so, but they happened to have what I needed in stock...and so, I drove home with my new specs! They were also having a very awesome sale, so even though my 'fake' insurance didn't cover it, I did not pay a fortune (and I'll be submitting a claim to the real insurance anyhow, so I should hopefully be receiving some of that money back).

Did a quick job search when I got home...nothing new out there.

Submitted a logo to a contest on 99designs.com. If I win, I get $200. That would be nice. I'll be keeping my eye on that site...

Watched another Netflix movie. "The Butterfly Effect." Love it, although it's a wee bit depressing. Perhaps it makes me feel better about my life. Or it's just a nice distraction for a couple hours...

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 10 a.m. Not really looking forward to it, but it's necessary, so I might as well go through with it since my insurance will be gone soon.

I also have to do work on some of my freelance projects tomorrow, since people are expecting results very soon. I'm cool with that...keeps me busy, makes me happy. I'd be happier with a secure job, though.

That's pretty much it for today. Perhaps tomorrow I will hear from a possible job?

Day #9

Had my "interview" today.

Woke up at 7 a.m., ate breakfast, hopped in the shower, and then put together a version of my portfolio to put on a cd using iWeb. Printed out my resume and references, got dressed, and left the apartment at about 11:40.

Drove 45 minutes to get there in the rain and snow on roads I've never driven on. Walked in 15 minutes early (as planned), wet, hungry, and a bit stressed (not planned). Filled out an application and handed it in with my printed resume. Waited. Was asked to go into the office and talk.

I maybe said 10 words the whole "interview" (it was more of a screening/preliminary thing, and i knew this going in). The chick talked at me really effin' fast for 5 minutes, asked if I had any questions, and I was out the door again.

What. The. Hell.

I've NEVER heard anyone talk so fast in my life, and she was just determined to cram as much information into that five minutes as possible. I have no idea if they'll be calling me back, I don't even know if I want to work there. The salary was nice, but could I handle working with people that talk like they have coffee coming in through an IV? The job isn't even for design, which I figured going in, but I'm not sure if it would be a good job for me. But do I really have the luxury to be picky right now?

I don't know.

Plus, this morning, I got another email similar to the one that got me into my interview today from another place I'd applied to yesterday. Different company, but I'm sure it will be the same deal with the preliminary interview because a million billion people are trying to get in. No idea if I'll go for it.

I'm going to go have dinner and look at glasses with the boyfriend now. Hopefully I can calm the hell down.

Day #8

I didn't have a lot of ambition today.

I forced myself to look for jobs online...found and applied for two. Spent the rest of the day not feeling like I wanted to do anything. Read some...surfed the net a bit...and finally did something I thought I'd never do: the dishes.

However, once I was done with the dish mountain, I returned to my computer to find an email from one of the places I'd applied to. Basically, it said they'd seen my resume and felt I might fit one of their positions (the job was for a "Junior Marketing Executive" in Advertising/Marketing/Sales, and they were looking to hire a lot of people). So, I gave them a call and scheduled a screening interview for tomorrow (Wednesday) at 1 p.m.

So that made me feel a little better.

Didn't do much else, job related. I hope I get out of this funk soon, as I have quite a few things I need to do before the end of the week.

Day #7

So, here I am one week after being laid off. No job replies yet.

Woke up a little later than I had wanted to today, but that did not stop me from being productive. I saw that I had received a reply from the dentist I had emailed on Friday, and so I gave them a call and got myself two appointments made before my insurance runs out (the exam and xray, and then a hygiene appointment). Let's hope they don't discover anything too horrible, because my insurance will have run out by the time I can get in again to get stuff fixed. Also figured out hours for a few places I can go for glasses. I'm having the boyfriend come along as an eye wear judge and a cheerleader, because finding glasses that actually fit my little head and face is a lot harder that you might think. Anyhow, I now have all my appointments made.

I then contacted a DJ who was referred to me by a friend. We chatted briefly about what he wanted, and then decided he could email me any info necessary and I'd get started. So a little more freelance for me! I'm not making enough to pay the rent yet, but it certainly puts gas in the car and groceries on the table...or in the cabinet...whatever, you get my point.

Since I hadn't watched my netflix movie yet, I popped that in (Wall-E) and it took care of my afternoon. Returned that to the post office when I was finished, went grocery shopping ( only $27! and I got quite a few things, too), and then decided I needed to do at least one more design-related thing before calling it a night...

I had seen something on Twitter about a logo design contest. So, I checked it out, and found that I could win $200 for designing a logo. Actually, there were a bunch of other contests as well...so I think I'll be frequenting that site (99designs.com). I started playing with fonts, but got tired before really coming up with anything, so I'm typing up my blog here and then calling it a night.

Day #4

Tonight I am typing to you from the laptop belonging to my boyfriend. I kinda forgot to do my daily update while still at my place, but I figure no one will mind the location change.

Last night, I stayed up until 1 a.m. poking around on the internet. I wanted to stay up a bit later because I wasn't very tired and didn't want to end up waking up at the crack of dawn this morning. Unfortunately, I somehow ended up sleeping until noon...oops. Totally broke one of my own rules. Didn't end up feeling all unmotivated though, luckily.

As promised, I called around and made doctor's appointments...well, I made one. Couldn't get a hold of the dentist because they are apparently closed on Fridays, and making an appointment for the optometrist is just dumb until I find a place that has a pair of glasses I actually like (and that actually fit my little head). That is a goal for this weekend: find a place that has glasses I like so I can make a real appointment next week.

That was pretty much it for today, since I slept for so long...and spent the later part of the afternoon packing to spend the weekend at the boyfriend's place. Weekends with the boyfriend used to be a great way to temporarily escape my parents, then it was a way to shake off the work week, and now it is a way to get the hell out of the apartment. Anyhow, it's a way to regain some sanity after spending all week stuck in the apartment.

I was supposed to meet up with a chick who I'm doing some freelance for tonight...however, she had to cancel, so we're going to try again for next Friday. I can still work on her stuff in the meantime. I also have some freelance for a band's album artwork, which will be fun and a good distraction. Having these two bits of freelance will be good for me to 1. Have something to do with all my time, and 2. Bring in a little bit more money. I also received a check for my unused vacation time at my last job, which was nice. A free week's worth of pay! Woohoo!

Next week I should start hearing back from places I've applied to, if I hear back at all. So far, I've applied to or at least contacted about 10 places. I plan on digging up my old list of advertising and design agencies and mailing out my resume to them. Certainly won't hurt anything, even though I'm pretty sure none of them will be hiring. Before anyone yells at me for being pessimistic, stop: I'm being realistic. Go check out monster.com, careerbuilder.com, or craigslist...there is nothing out there for a graphic designer. I'm still trying though. I've even applied to jobs that aren't actually for a designer...a few were for marketing assistants and such.

That will be it for now...next blogging date will be Monday, as my weekends are for relaxing, not job hunting. :)

Day #3

I woke up today with the intent of getting things done...but by noon, I had lost my motivation.

I just didn't want to do anything at all. Oddly, I was also bored out of my skull and just wanted SOMETHING to do. Apparently, the things on my to-do list weren't good enough...

After surfing the net for a while and feeling useless (I did search and apply for 5 more jobs), I decided some time outside of the apartment would probably be good for me. This is another thing I've learned...being unemployed means feeling guilty if I go anywhere because that means spending money that I'm not replacing. Therefore, I sit in my apartment and go stir-crazy, which somehow leads to me not having motivation. How to avoid this? Make a point to get out whenever you can, even if it is just for a short walk to nowhere. I settled on walking down the the local coffee place for a hot beverage.

Once I returned, I finally decided to do something. I put on some loud music, rooted through a bunch of my photos, and decided to tweak a bunch of them and then post them to my deviantart site. Shortly after posting them, I received some nice feedback, and that made me feel worthwhile. I've decided to post the photos to the bottom of this entry, so check them out if you want to see what I did with my afternoon.

However, I just realized that the one thing I really wanted to do today I completely forgot about. Since I have my health insurance extended until the end of the month, I want to make a bunch of doctors appointments since who knows when I'll have insurance again. It's now 7 p.m. and I haven't done this...and I feel stupid and guilty. This major to-do will now go on a post-it and be stuck to the front of the computer so that I can't forget it tomorrow. I can research some places to go this weekend for an eye exam and glasses, so I guess something useful can still be accomplished before my day ends.

I'm hoping tomorrow I'm out of the no-motivation slump. I can't start that so early in the game...it hasn't even been a full week yet.

Day #2

Today started with me realizing I have no milk for cereal, and so I've finally plugged in my toaster that I received as a Christmas gift. Soon after I made my breakfast of peanut butter on toast, I answered a phone call that turned out to be from another person laid off from my last job. She wanted to send me a job opportunity she had found, so I gave her my email and we wished each other good luck in our job searches before hanging up. It was actually a nice way to start the day, since it let me know I wasn't the only one to suffer that day (hey, misery loves company) and it gave me another possible job opportunity, which is always good.

It was a wonderful 60 degrees outside, so I decided to take advantage of the nice weather and walk to the post office, then to my favorite local coffee place. I've found that getting out and seeing the sun is a real mood lifter, and it helps the day pass. I later went out again to take some photos and pass more time.

Talked to the HR Manager at my previous job to figure out when my insurance information and cards should be arriving in the mail. I was informed that they should be here soon, and that in the meantime, I can still make appointments and the doctors can use my social security number in place of my card until it shows up.

The boyfriend called to give me a heads up for a possible job opportunity at his place of work...not graphic design, unfortunately, but a job is a job when you need to pay rent. Also got in touch with former employers to let them know I was yet again unemployed, and available for any freelance they had available. I received a reply from one with some leads on places that may need help.

Chatted with a friend who is also down on her luck as far as jobs go. Again, misery loves company, and it's always nice to have someone to talk to who understands the unemployment blues.

Basically, I had a somewhat productive and ok day. I don't feel so anxious or depressed as I did last night, and that is always a good thing. We'll see how tomorrow goes with the job leads.

The first few days...

Since I have only just created this blog today, and I was laid off on Monday, I'm a few days behind on updates. Therefore, I will wrap up the first few days within this entry, and each day after this will get it's own entry.

Day #0

I suppose I should start with the day I was laid off. I woke up, got ready in a rush, and drove the frustrating 45 minutes into work like any other Monday. However, this particular Monday I was planning on having a chat with my boss. There had been so little work for me to do the past few weeks that I was starting to worry about my job. I was going to meet with him in his office and ask him what my chances of getting laid off were. Before I even got the chance to ask him, he came to my cubicle and asked me to meet him in the small conference room. I knew immediately what was about to happen, and thought it was quite ironic that I had been about to ask him the question for which he was about to give me the dreaded answer.

I walked into the conference room and sat down as my boss and his boss proceeded to tell me that the company wasn't doing so well, and our parent company was demanding some people be let go. I, unfortunately, turned out to be one of those people.

Regardless of the fact that I knew what was going to happen before even walking into the room, my heart was pounding and I was fighting back tears. Both bosses were sincerely sorry and said so, and they were even giving me a severance package and an extension on my insurance (because they were quite aware of my previous layoffs and the lack of insurance they had caused me). I was told to go back to my cubicle, finish up any work that I wanted to, gather my things and say my goodbyes. Considering that I knew I was going to get emotional, I opted for just gathering my things, saying a very brief goodbye to a few people, and leaving. Of course, I realized I'd forgotten my lunch inside when I got out to my car, so I had to go back in and retrieve it. It felt like I had to do two walks of shame, even though there was nothing for me to be ashamed of, as yet again, the loss of my job was not my fault.

After calling the boyfriend to tell him the bad news, I drove home teary eyed and angry. Got to the apartment, unloaded my stuff onto the floor, and proceeded to find friends online who I could bitch to. I felt a little bit better after this, and decided I should take a nap to help my bad day come to an end quicker. This was a bad idea, as I woke up depressed.

In yet another horribly ironic twist, I had to call my mother because it was her birthday. I couldn't bring myself to ruin her day by telling her I'd been laid off, so I lied to her and chatted with her like everything was fine. Ended up feeling pretty terrible about it, but it's not like her knowing was going to change anything.

However, a few hours later my wonderful boyfriend showed up at my door with chocolate chip mint ice cream and some root beer to cheer me up! After watching "Blazing Saddles" together while eating our ice cream, we said our goodbyes, and I went to bed...ending the day.

Day #1

For my first bit of advice to share in this blog, I must say to all those who have been laid off: DO NOT SLEEP IN! You don't have to get up at the crack of dawn like you did when you had a job, but for the love of cheese, get up before 10 or 11. Try to have some sort of schedule set for your day, some sort of structure. Otherwise, the depression will set in. I made the mistake of sleeping til 11 on my first fully unemployed day...and I felt sad and unmotivated.

However, I was able to snap out of it long enough to write a list of things I needed to do (pay bills, do dishes, take out garbage, get groceries, clean up the apartment, re-organize resume files on the computer, update my resume, begin my job search, email some people I was freelancing for, update my website, update my portfolio, send a college project to Harley-Davidson in hopes they'd love it and pay me millions). I only accomplished a few of the things on the list, but that's ok. As long as I accomplish something each day, I know I can stay out of the depressive slump that I know will eventually get me with boredom.

So, I updated my resume, sent it to a few jobs I found online, walked to the post office to mail some bills, went to the bank to deposit my severance checks, then came home and watched my netflix movie that had come in the mail. I was feeling ok until the movie ended. At that point, I had lost my motivation and was feeling the edges of anxiety creeping in. I had only found a few (five to be exact) jobs available for me online...I have other friends searching for jobs in the same field, and they've been searching for a while...how will I find a job in time? Where will I get money to keep my apartment and my car? How much bigger will my balance on my credit card get? Will the recession prevent me from finding a decent job that I can keep for more than a few months?

I can't believe the anxiety and depression are setting in already. I mean, I was expecting it to show up eventually...it's just something that happens when you lose your job. It starts with feeling useless and helpless. Can't contribute to society, can't bring in money for myself, and every job I go for either doesn't respond or rejects me. Eventually, depression and anxiety set in full force...I start to cry a lot, I constantly worry about my dwindling bank account, and I lose my motivation. I still search for jobs, of course, but I know they will all fall through and that I may end up with some job that I hate that has nothing to do with design.

I ended the day with no job responses (even though I'd just applied that day...irrational, I know) and a sad face knowing tomorrow won't be much different.

An introduction...

My name is Rachel, and as of this Monday, February 9, 2009, I am an unemployed graphic designer.

I've created this blog after a suggestion from my wonderfully supportive boyfriend who thinks that keeping a journal during my unemployment might be interesting or helpful to others in the same situation. I know that I am not unique, considering the tanking economy and sky-rocketing unemployment rates, but I will of course go through my own personal ups and downs for however long it takes me to find a new job. Each day, or at least as often as possible, I will write a blog entry detailing what I've done and how I feel as I pursue a new job.

I suppose a little background will help anyone reading this to understand my current cynicism at my situation.

I graduated from Kutztown University in May of 2007 with a Bachelor of the Fine Arts degree in Communication Design (aka, Graphic Design). I had a GPA of 3.45 overall, and a 3.49 in my major. In August of 2007, I landed my first job after months of searching. It was an (almost) full-time freelancing graphic design position with no benefits because the business was only made up of one man. Six months later, I was let go due to there no longer being enough work for the two of us. Then in May of 2008, I landed my second graphic design job with a somewhat larger design firm (we're talking about 10 employees). Four months later, the company was down to 5 employees, and I was laid off yet again due to not enough work. Luckily, it only took me three weeks to find my next job in October 2008. However, four months later, I was laid off for a third time in less than a year.

Needless to say, I am very frustrated at this point. I haven't had insurance long enough to use it since I graduated college 2 years ago, I never work long enough to get sick time or vacation time, and I can never get on top of my debt because the moment I have enough money to throw at the credit card, I get laid off and have to use the money so I don't lose my apartment or car. I did not keep a blog the first two times I was laid off, but now that I'm becoming a pro at being unemployed, why not?

They say misery loves company. If that's true, then read on. We're in for a long, uncomfortable ride...