Day #17

I have skipped yet another day of writing here...but I have an excuse this time!

Basically, nothing job-related happened yesterday.

I went to the dentist, had my teeth cleaned, had 2 cavities taken care of, and went home with half a numb face. Walked to the post office and mailed a ton of tax stuff out. Decided I'd done enough that day and watched hulu til I was tired.

Today, however, was a little more productive job-wise.

I contacted my visual insurance carrier, got the information needed to submit the claim, walked to the print place down the road to get a copy of my receipt, stuck everything in an envelope, walked to the post office, and mailed it. Had some coffee, came home, and received an email from one of the places I'd applied to (yes!), and responded. Every time I got another email, I jumped up and was quickly disappointed...they have not responded to my response. Hopefully I'll hear from them soon.

Made plans to hang out with a friend tomorrow, so that's good. Also watched Religulous today, and absolutely loved it. Worked on freelance a little more...I really need to get on my freelance stuff a bit. Every time I think I'll work on it, I suddenly don't feel like it. I need to get over that and stop complaining about feeling unmotivated. One thing I learned in college is that no matter how unmotivated you feel about working on a project, once you start working on it, you get on a roll and you're fine.

Also figure I should start adding this bit of info in:
Jobs applied to: 14
Responses: 3
Interviews: 1
Jobs offered: 0

I guess when "Jobs offered" becomes any number besides "0," this blog will effectively end...since I'd no longer be unemployed and such. I may not be a graphic designer though...hmmm....

That's about it for today. I'm going to push myself to work on another freelance project for a bit, and then call it a night.

Day #15

I did not write on Friday or Monday. I'm a horrible person, I know. You poor people that have been reading this are just dying to know what happened to those days!

Well, not a whole lot honestly.

I don't even remember what I did on Friday, so that tells you how exciting that day was. I believe I did some quick job searching, came up fruitless, worked on a little freelance, and then ran off to spend the weekend at the boyfriend's.

Monday was my dentist appointment. I only have two cavities: my old one that has a filling has apparently continued to decay, and there is one small new one. I'll be getting those both taken care of tomorrow (Wednesday). Not too bad, considering I haven't been to the dentist in over 5 years. I also researched a company a friend pointed me toward, and fixed up my cover letter and resume to send out to them. Towards the evening, I lost all motivation and ended up watching TV online. A friend called, and I ended up chatting with her for a bit.

Today, I mailed out bills and tax stuff, as well as the aforementioned cover letter and resume. I did another job search and applied to one place. Kind of sad that I only found one new place to send my information to...

Took some time to chill out and listen to music, ate some dinner, and then sat down to work on some more freelance stuff. That brings us to now, with me typing up this new blog post.

I think I've realized another reason why being unemployed is so god damned depressing for me. I rarely talk to ANYONE throughout my day. Today, I said maybe 10 words to the ladies who handle my parking fees, had a short conversation with my mother, and I chatted with the boyfriend for a half hour. Yesterday, I talked to the dentist, two friends, and my boyfriend. Most days, the only person I speak to all day is the boyfriend for a little in the evening. Sometimes I'll chat online with someone, but usually not, as I'm trying to not get distracted from things I'm supposed to be doing. Weekends are like a party for me, since I get to interact with more than a couple people for a few days.

I really need a job. Aside from the fact that I need the money to pay bills, I need the interaction to stay sane!

Day #10

Today was definitely one of my better days.

Woke up to an email from the boyfriend about an ad for a graphic designer his mom found in the paper. Went ahead and emailed my resume in. Fingers crossed! It's an actual graphic design job.

Got ready and ran out the door to get to my optometrist appointment, calling the HR lady from my old job as I drove...Apparently, I come up as being under Davis Vision for my insurance, and wonderful Davis Vision does not cover materials (frames and lenses), just the exam. However, the paper work I had received on my first day at my job said that I was covered for everything...so I knew I needed to call and get this all straightened out. The HR lady didn't get back to me til after the exam, but it turns out I'm not under Davis...I'm under Spectera, and they cover everything. So now I just need to call them, explain the situation, and mail in the claim.

The good news is (or awesome news, really) I have new glasses! I was expecting them to have to send them out and wait for a week or so, but they happened to have what I needed in stock...and so, I drove home with my new specs! They were also having a very awesome sale, so even though my 'fake' insurance didn't cover it, I did not pay a fortune (and I'll be submitting a claim to the real insurance anyhow, so I should hopefully be receiving some of that money back).

Did a quick job search when I got home...nothing new out there.

Submitted a logo to a contest on 99designs.com. If I win, I get $200. That would be nice. I'll be keeping my eye on that site...

Watched another Netflix movie. "The Butterfly Effect." Love it, although it's a wee bit depressing. Perhaps it makes me feel better about my life. Or it's just a nice distraction for a couple hours...

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 10 a.m. Not really looking forward to it, but it's necessary, so I might as well go through with it since my insurance will be gone soon.

I also have to do work on some of my freelance projects tomorrow, since people are expecting results very soon. I'm cool with that...keeps me busy, makes me happy. I'd be happier with a secure job, though.

That's pretty much it for today. Perhaps tomorrow I will hear from a possible job?

Day #9

Had my "interview" today.

Woke up at 7 a.m., ate breakfast, hopped in the shower, and then put together a version of my portfolio to put on a cd using iWeb. Printed out my resume and references, got dressed, and left the apartment at about 11:40.

Drove 45 minutes to get there in the rain and snow on roads I've never driven on. Walked in 15 minutes early (as planned), wet, hungry, and a bit stressed (not planned). Filled out an application and handed it in with my printed resume. Waited. Was asked to go into the office and talk.

I maybe said 10 words the whole "interview" (it was more of a screening/preliminary thing, and i knew this going in). The chick talked at me really effin' fast for 5 minutes, asked if I had any questions, and I was out the door again.

What. The. Hell.

I've NEVER heard anyone talk so fast in my life, and she was just determined to cram as much information into that five minutes as possible. I have no idea if they'll be calling me back, I don't even know if I want to work there. The salary was nice, but could I handle working with people that talk like they have coffee coming in through an IV? The job isn't even for design, which I figured going in, but I'm not sure if it would be a good job for me. But do I really have the luxury to be picky right now?

I don't know.

Plus, this morning, I got another email similar to the one that got me into my interview today from another place I'd applied to yesterday. Different company, but I'm sure it will be the same deal with the preliminary interview because a million billion people are trying to get in. No idea if I'll go for it.

I'm going to go have dinner and look at glasses with the boyfriend now. Hopefully I can calm the hell down.

Day #8

I didn't have a lot of ambition today.

I forced myself to look for jobs online...found and applied for two. Spent the rest of the day not feeling like I wanted to do anything. Read some...surfed the net a bit...and finally did something I thought I'd never do: the dishes.

However, once I was done with the dish mountain, I returned to my computer to find an email from one of the places I'd applied to. Basically, it said they'd seen my resume and felt I might fit one of their positions (the job was for a "Junior Marketing Executive" in Advertising/Marketing/Sales, and they were looking to hire a lot of people). So, I gave them a call and scheduled a screening interview for tomorrow (Wednesday) at 1 p.m.

So that made me feel a little better.

Didn't do much else, job related. I hope I get out of this funk soon, as I have quite a few things I need to do before the end of the week.

Day #7

So, here I am one week after being laid off. No job replies yet.

Woke up a little later than I had wanted to today, but that did not stop me from being productive. I saw that I had received a reply from the dentist I had emailed on Friday, and so I gave them a call and got myself two appointments made before my insurance runs out (the exam and xray, and then a hygiene appointment). Let's hope they don't discover anything too horrible, because my insurance will have run out by the time I can get in again to get stuff fixed. Also figured out hours for a few places I can go for glasses. I'm having the boyfriend come along as an eye wear judge and a cheerleader, because finding glasses that actually fit my little head and face is a lot harder that you might think. Anyhow, I now have all my appointments made.

I then contacted a DJ who was referred to me by a friend. We chatted briefly about what he wanted, and then decided he could email me any info necessary and I'd get started. So a little more freelance for me! I'm not making enough to pay the rent yet, but it certainly puts gas in the car and groceries on the table...or in the cabinet...whatever, you get my point.

Since I hadn't watched my netflix movie yet, I popped that in (Wall-E) and it took care of my afternoon. Returned that to the post office when I was finished, went grocery shopping ( only $27! and I got quite a few things, too), and then decided I needed to do at least one more design-related thing before calling it a night...

I had seen something on Twitter about a logo design contest. So, I checked it out, and found that I could win $200 for designing a logo. Actually, there were a bunch of other contests as well...so I think I'll be frequenting that site (99designs.com). I started playing with fonts, but got tired before really coming up with anything, so I'm typing up my blog here and then calling it a night.

Day #4

Tonight I am typing to you from the laptop belonging to my boyfriend. I kinda forgot to do my daily update while still at my place, but I figure no one will mind the location change.

Last night, I stayed up until 1 a.m. poking around on the internet. I wanted to stay up a bit later because I wasn't very tired and didn't want to end up waking up at the crack of dawn this morning. Unfortunately, I somehow ended up sleeping until noon...oops. Totally broke one of my own rules. Didn't end up feeling all unmotivated though, luckily.

As promised, I called around and made doctor's appointments...well, I made one. Couldn't get a hold of the dentist because they are apparently closed on Fridays, and making an appointment for the optometrist is just dumb until I find a place that has a pair of glasses I actually like (and that actually fit my little head). That is a goal for this weekend: find a place that has glasses I like so I can make a real appointment next week.

That was pretty much it for today, since I slept for so long...and spent the later part of the afternoon packing to spend the weekend at the boyfriend's place. Weekends with the boyfriend used to be a great way to temporarily escape my parents, then it was a way to shake off the work week, and now it is a way to get the hell out of the apartment. Anyhow, it's a way to regain some sanity after spending all week stuck in the apartment.

I was supposed to meet up with a chick who I'm doing some freelance for tonight...however, she had to cancel, so we're going to try again for next Friday. I can still work on her stuff in the meantime. I also have some freelance for a band's album artwork, which will be fun and a good distraction. Having these two bits of freelance will be good for me to 1. Have something to do with all my time, and 2. Bring in a little bit more money. I also received a check for my unused vacation time at my last job, which was nice. A free week's worth of pay! Woohoo!

Next week I should start hearing back from places I've applied to, if I hear back at all. So far, I've applied to or at least contacted about 10 places. I plan on digging up my old list of advertising and design agencies and mailing out my resume to them. Certainly won't hurt anything, even though I'm pretty sure none of them will be hiring. Before anyone yells at me for being pessimistic, stop: I'm being realistic. Go check out monster.com, careerbuilder.com, or craigslist...there is nothing out there for a graphic designer. I'm still trying though. I've even applied to jobs that aren't actually for a designer...a few were for marketing assistants and such.

That will be it for now...next blogging date will be Monday, as my weekends are for relaxing, not job hunting. :)

Day #3

I woke up today with the intent of getting things done...but by noon, I had lost my motivation.

I just didn't want to do anything at all. Oddly, I was also bored out of my skull and just wanted SOMETHING to do. Apparently, the things on my to-do list weren't good enough...

After surfing the net for a while and feeling useless (I did search and apply for 5 more jobs), I decided some time outside of the apartment would probably be good for me. This is another thing I've learned...being unemployed means feeling guilty if I go anywhere because that means spending money that I'm not replacing. Therefore, I sit in my apartment and go stir-crazy, which somehow leads to me not having motivation. How to avoid this? Make a point to get out whenever you can, even if it is just for a short walk to nowhere. I settled on walking down the the local coffee place for a hot beverage.

Once I returned, I finally decided to do something. I put on some loud music, rooted through a bunch of my photos, and decided to tweak a bunch of them and then post them to my deviantart site. Shortly after posting them, I received some nice feedback, and that made me feel worthwhile. I've decided to post the photos to the bottom of this entry, so check them out if you want to see what I did with my afternoon.

However, I just realized that the one thing I really wanted to do today I completely forgot about. Since I have my health insurance extended until the end of the month, I want to make a bunch of doctors appointments since who knows when I'll have insurance again. It's now 7 p.m. and I haven't done this...and I feel stupid and guilty. This major to-do will now go on a post-it and be stuck to the front of the computer so that I can't forget it tomorrow. I can research some places to go this weekend for an eye exam and glasses, so I guess something useful can still be accomplished before my day ends.

I'm hoping tomorrow I'm out of the no-motivation slump. I can't start that so early in the game...it hasn't even been a full week yet.

Day #2

Today started with me realizing I have no milk for cereal, and so I've finally plugged in my toaster that I received as a Christmas gift. Soon after I made my breakfast of peanut butter on toast, I answered a phone call that turned out to be from another person laid off from my last job. She wanted to send me a job opportunity she had found, so I gave her my email and we wished each other good luck in our job searches before hanging up. It was actually a nice way to start the day, since it let me know I wasn't the only one to suffer that day (hey, misery loves company) and it gave me another possible job opportunity, which is always good.

It was a wonderful 60 degrees outside, so I decided to take advantage of the nice weather and walk to the post office, then to my favorite local coffee place. I've found that getting out and seeing the sun is a real mood lifter, and it helps the day pass. I later went out again to take some photos and pass more time.

Talked to the HR Manager at my previous job to figure out when my insurance information and cards should be arriving in the mail. I was informed that they should be here soon, and that in the meantime, I can still make appointments and the doctors can use my social security number in place of my card until it shows up.

The boyfriend called to give me a heads up for a possible job opportunity at his place of work...not graphic design, unfortunately, but a job is a job when you need to pay rent. Also got in touch with former employers to let them know I was yet again unemployed, and available for any freelance they had available. I received a reply from one with some leads on places that may need help.

Chatted with a friend who is also down on her luck as far as jobs go. Again, misery loves company, and it's always nice to have someone to talk to who understands the unemployment blues.

Basically, I had a somewhat productive and ok day. I don't feel so anxious or depressed as I did last night, and that is always a good thing. We'll see how tomorrow goes with the job leads.

The first few days...

Since I have only just created this blog today, and I was laid off on Monday, I'm a few days behind on updates. Therefore, I will wrap up the first few days within this entry, and each day after this will get it's own entry.

Day #0

I suppose I should start with the day I was laid off. I woke up, got ready in a rush, and drove the frustrating 45 minutes into work like any other Monday. However, this particular Monday I was planning on having a chat with my boss. There had been so little work for me to do the past few weeks that I was starting to worry about my job. I was going to meet with him in his office and ask him what my chances of getting laid off were. Before I even got the chance to ask him, he came to my cubicle and asked me to meet him in the small conference room. I knew immediately what was about to happen, and thought it was quite ironic that I had been about to ask him the question for which he was about to give me the dreaded answer.

I walked into the conference room and sat down as my boss and his boss proceeded to tell me that the company wasn't doing so well, and our parent company was demanding some people be let go. I, unfortunately, turned out to be one of those people.

Regardless of the fact that I knew what was going to happen before even walking into the room, my heart was pounding and I was fighting back tears. Both bosses were sincerely sorry and said so, and they were even giving me a severance package and an extension on my insurance (because they were quite aware of my previous layoffs and the lack of insurance they had caused me). I was told to go back to my cubicle, finish up any work that I wanted to, gather my things and say my goodbyes. Considering that I knew I was going to get emotional, I opted for just gathering my things, saying a very brief goodbye to a few people, and leaving. Of course, I realized I'd forgotten my lunch inside when I got out to my car, so I had to go back in and retrieve it. It felt like I had to do two walks of shame, even though there was nothing for me to be ashamed of, as yet again, the loss of my job was not my fault.

After calling the boyfriend to tell him the bad news, I drove home teary eyed and angry. Got to the apartment, unloaded my stuff onto the floor, and proceeded to find friends online who I could bitch to. I felt a little bit better after this, and decided I should take a nap to help my bad day come to an end quicker. This was a bad idea, as I woke up depressed.

In yet another horribly ironic twist, I had to call my mother because it was her birthday. I couldn't bring myself to ruin her day by telling her I'd been laid off, so I lied to her and chatted with her like everything was fine. Ended up feeling pretty terrible about it, but it's not like her knowing was going to change anything.

However, a few hours later my wonderful boyfriend showed up at my door with chocolate chip mint ice cream and some root beer to cheer me up! After watching "Blazing Saddles" together while eating our ice cream, we said our goodbyes, and I went to bed...ending the day.

Day #1

For my first bit of advice to share in this blog, I must say to all those who have been laid off: DO NOT SLEEP IN! You don't have to get up at the crack of dawn like you did when you had a job, but for the love of cheese, get up before 10 or 11. Try to have some sort of schedule set for your day, some sort of structure. Otherwise, the depression will set in. I made the mistake of sleeping til 11 on my first fully unemployed day...and I felt sad and unmotivated.

However, I was able to snap out of it long enough to write a list of things I needed to do (pay bills, do dishes, take out garbage, get groceries, clean up the apartment, re-organize resume files on the computer, update my resume, begin my job search, email some people I was freelancing for, update my website, update my portfolio, send a college project to Harley-Davidson in hopes they'd love it and pay me millions). I only accomplished a few of the things on the list, but that's ok. As long as I accomplish something each day, I know I can stay out of the depressive slump that I know will eventually get me with boredom.

So, I updated my resume, sent it to a few jobs I found online, walked to the post office to mail some bills, went to the bank to deposit my severance checks, then came home and watched my netflix movie that had come in the mail. I was feeling ok until the movie ended. At that point, I had lost my motivation and was feeling the edges of anxiety creeping in. I had only found a few (five to be exact) jobs available for me online...I have other friends searching for jobs in the same field, and they've been searching for a while...how will I find a job in time? Where will I get money to keep my apartment and my car? How much bigger will my balance on my credit card get? Will the recession prevent me from finding a decent job that I can keep for more than a few months?

I can't believe the anxiety and depression are setting in already. I mean, I was expecting it to show up eventually...it's just something that happens when you lose your job. It starts with feeling useless and helpless. Can't contribute to society, can't bring in money for myself, and every job I go for either doesn't respond or rejects me. Eventually, depression and anxiety set in full force...I start to cry a lot, I constantly worry about my dwindling bank account, and I lose my motivation. I still search for jobs, of course, but I know they will all fall through and that I may end up with some job that I hate that has nothing to do with design.

I ended the day with no job responses (even though I'd just applied that day...irrational, I know) and a sad face knowing tomorrow won't be much different.

An introduction...

My name is Rachel, and as of this Monday, February 9, 2009, I am an unemployed graphic designer.

I've created this blog after a suggestion from my wonderfully supportive boyfriend who thinks that keeping a journal during my unemployment might be interesting or helpful to others in the same situation. I know that I am not unique, considering the tanking economy and sky-rocketing unemployment rates, but I will of course go through my own personal ups and downs for however long it takes me to find a new job. Each day, or at least as often as possible, I will write a blog entry detailing what I've done and how I feel as I pursue a new job.

I suppose a little background will help anyone reading this to understand my current cynicism at my situation.

I graduated from Kutztown University in May of 2007 with a Bachelor of the Fine Arts degree in Communication Design (aka, Graphic Design). I had a GPA of 3.45 overall, and a 3.49 in my major. In August of 2007, I landed my first job after months of searching. It was an (almost) full-time freelancing graphic design position with no benefits because the business was only made up of one man. Six months later, I was let go due to there no longer being enough work for the two of us. Then in May of 2008, I landed my second graphic design job with a somewhat larger design firm (we're talking about 10 employees). Four months later, the company was down to 5 employees, and I was laid off yet again due to not enough work. Luckily, it only took me three weeks to find my next job in October 2008. However, four months later, I was laid off for a third time in less than a year.

Needless to say, I am very frustrated at this point. I haven't had insurance long enough to use it since I graduated college 2 years ago, I never work long enough to get sick time or vacation time, and I can never get on top of my debt because the moment I have enough money to throw at the credit card, I get laid off and have to use the money so I don't lose my apartment or car. I did not keep a blog the first two times I was laid off, but now that I'm becoming a pro at being unemployed, why not?

They say misery loves company. If that's true, then read on. We're in for a long, uncomfortable ride...